


Four Times Gerard Way Hated Unicorns and the One Time He was Grateful for Their Existence

by Lucifuge5



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Gen, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Paramour Studio, Paranormal, Unicorns, canon AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-28
Updated: 2013-03-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 19:41:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/739377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifuge5/pseuds/Lucifuge5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's nothing <em>magical</em> about unicorns. Or so Gerard believed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Times Gerard Way Hated Unicorns and the One Time He was Grateful for Their Existence

**Author's Note:**

  * For [annemari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/annemari/gifts).



* * *

**1\. They're mean.**

_1990_

It's Thanksgiving weekend and Gerard's bored out of his skull.

He could've been home, drawing something awesome like his Boba Fett vs. Wolverine mini-comic. Or hanging out with Mikey, shooting the shit while watching something cool and possibly gory. Just enjoying the four-day weekend like any normal kid in Bellevile. But no, Donna's gotten into the mood of visiting all of their relatives ever and dragging her kids along. Now it's Saturday afternoon and they're at uncle Louis and aunt Celia's place in Newark. Everyone knows that Sundays fly by so this break has been nothing but a bust. 

Life's so unfair.

Gerard tries not to sulk. Not after his mom shoots him the kind of stare that says 'throw a tantrum and you won't step inside a comic book store for months'. So he tries to play it cool. He really, really does. Even after uncle Louis asks him if he's got a girlfriend. Next to him, Mikey snorts. Gerard bites the inside of his mouth and elbows Mikey. 

"You're what, 14? 15? "

"13," Gerard answers, wishing like hell that he hadn't left his and Mikey's Gameboy at home.

Uncle Louis winks at Gerard. "At that age, I was known as the resident heartbreaker of my class."

"How...awesome," Gerard says, inwardly sighing as uncle Louis keeps talking about dating senior girls when he was a freshman. For the millionth time, Gerard silently bitches at the fact that his aunt and uncle don't have cable TV. Perhaps sensing his restlessness, Mikey leans over.

"We could play hide and seek?" Mikey says low enough not to interrupt their uncle's uninterrupted monologue to high school dates. "I bet you next month's issue of X-Men that you won't find me."

"How about the winner gets the next issue of X-Men and out of doing chores for a week?" Gerard throws in after weighting his options. It's a tough bargain, there's no question about it. The last thing Gerard wants to do is be elbow-deep in dishes and fighting against the ancient vacuum cleaner his father won't throw away. Still, anything's got to be better than sitting around, watching everyone drink and be merry and not being able to do anything fun.

Mikey squints at him for a few seconds before shaking hands with Gerard. They wait until the adults are distracted by neighborhood gossip to make their escape.

"Stay inside the house," their dad says while pouring himself another gin and tonic.

Gerard raises a hand absentmindedly and follows Mikey out into the hallway. "OK, so, I'm going to turn around and count up to 50. Then I'll come to find you and we'll switch places, yeah?"

Mikey nods. His glasses are a little smudged.

Gerard takes them off and cleans them using the bottom of his Batman t-shirt before giving them back to Mikey. "Here," he says, grinning at him, and turns around, mumbling the numbers while chewing on a hangnail. By the time he's done, it's as if Mikey had faded away.

* * *

The one thing that Gerard always forgets is how scarily good Mikey is at hiding. It doesn't help that, at 10 years old, he's small enough to fit anywhere. Or that he can be eerily quiet when needed. 

Once he's done with a thorough sweep of the first floor, Gerard heads upstairs.

He creeps along the hallway, careful of keeping his steps as quiet as he can while straining his ears for anything that'll betray Mikey’s hiding place. The faint sounds of ice clinking in glasses and loud laughter come in waves all the way from the first floor. The bathroom's empty as is the guest bedroom.

The only places left are the attic and a hallway closet. Mikey will definitely avoid hiding in the attic--especially after that horror movie they watched a couple of months back. _Gotcha,_ he thinks as he turns in the direction of the closet.

He's got one hand on the doorknob when he hears a not-quite growl followed by what sounds like Mikey crying. Pushing down the small wave of panic that rises up when he twists the handle, Gerard opens the closet door in a whoosh, lifting his right hand into a fist, ready to protect Mikey.

Nothing in Gerard's 13 short years on Planet Earth has prepared him for the sight of a fucking tall, bright white motherfucking _unicorn_ staring down at him. There's nothing that says 'innocent' or 'My Little Pony' about the _thing_ standing next to Mikey.

**2\. They're mean and a little creepy**

_1990_

"Mikey..." Gerard stretches out his left hand, eyes locked with the unicorn's. Somewhere in Gerard's mind there's a split: a part of him is aware that he's standing in front of the hallway closet at his uncle's house in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. Another part of him is running around in circles, trying to understand why there's a fucking _mythological creature_ standing guard next to a smiling Mikey.

"Isn't it awesome?" Mikey says, his eyes huge and shiny. "I was just sitting here, waiting for you when there was this, I dunno, fog or something and then 'poof!' there was a unicorn."

Gerard's experience with animals--real or imaginary--is very limited outside of zoos. All he can remember about horses (or horse-like creatures) is that they can smell fear. Right now, he's absolutely sure he stinks of it. "That's great, Mikes," Gerard says carefully, waving his hand as softly as he can. "How about you come over here and we let your friend hang out in aunt Celia's closet?" For all he knows, unicorns will eat children. 

"Dunno, Gee," Mikey replies, glancing at the unicorn like it is a big, floppy dog instead of a thing that might breathe fire. "I think it got lost."

"All the more reason to let it be free, right?" Gerard isn't sure, but he could almost swear that the unicorn rolls its eyes at him.

Mikey pats the unicorn's flank until it lowers its neck. Gerard's practically holding his breath while Mikey takes his fucking time whispering something to the unicorn before stepping out of the closet and waving good-bye to it.

Gerard closes the door, ignoring the unicorn's annoyed snort and drops to the floor in the blink of an eye.

**3\. They mean, a little creepy and very sneaky.**

_2001_

Though midly skeptical--this isn’t the first time Mikey has auditioned--the band agrees to give him a chance to try out for My Chem. Gerard enjoys the fizzy mixture of pride ( _my little brother!_ ) and anxiety ( _what am I going to do if he’s terrible?_ ) that bubbles up inside of him as Mikey finishes tuning up his bass guitar.

Mikey pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, mouthing a '1, 2, 3' before he starts jamming.

Gerard stares open-mouthed as Mikey plays through a couple of the songs. Lips tight in concentration as his fingers make music happen, it's pretty fucking obvious that Mikey's been practicing. The thing is that, between working at the supermarket and going to school, Mikey barely has had any time to pick up his bass guitar. Let alone being able to play it reasonably well.

Even more perplexing is that he's good enough for the band to welcome him into the fold.

Gerard gives Mikey a tight hug. "How about we go out and celebrate your induction into this tour of madness, Mikes?" he says as everyone starts to pack up equipment and go home.

Mikeyway pushes his glasses up his nose, grinning at Gerard and looking way younger than 21. He places his bass guitar back into its traveling case.

"Dude, I was so nervous for you I thought I was going to throw up," Gerard says as they walk to his shitty car.

"Yeah, me too. I thought I was going to faint or something. Glad all those hours practicing paid off."

"Practicing?" Gerard gives Mikey a confused look before turning the engine on. "Practicing _where_ exactly?"

Mikey closes his eyes and rubs them. "Um, you know..." he answers after cracking his knuckles a few times. "I was, you know, _over there_."

Somehow, Gerard manages not to swerve into the the next lane. He knows that time moves different in Unicornland or whatever the fuck that place is called. Unlike Mikey, he's always been wary of crossing the portal. His head fills up with white noise and everything feels ever slightly tilted the few times he's followed Mikey through the portal. The longer he stays over there, the stronger the vertigo becomes. Ever since that fateful afternoon at their uncle Louis and aunt Celia's house, Gerard's made up his mind to sidestep anything relating to Mikey's not-so-imaginary friends. They're weird and they don't seem to like him. The _detente_ has worked wonders for his sanity. Deep down, he knows that he'll end up with a massive migraine if he really thinks about Mikey taking his bass guitar through the unicorns' gate. Still, he can't keep himself from commenting about the ridiculousness of what his brother has just told him. "You know that it doesn’t make sense, right? I mean, they don’t even have electricity over there!" One of his hands flutters in the air.

Mikey raises his eyebrows. He looks like he's biting back a "yeah, well."

Gerard narrows his eyes, opening them wide when the realization hits him. He starts to shake his head sideways. The red of the stoplight is a blur. "No. No, no, no! Don’t even say it."

Mikey opens his mouth.

Gerard exhales, gripping the steering wheel tight. "Michael James Way, so help me zombie Jesus if you say the "m" word!"

Mikey mouths _magic_ as the light turns green.

**4\. They're mean, a little creepy, very sneaky and play favorites**

_2005_

And then there's Frank.

Gerard has no idea of how aware everyone else is about Mikey and the unicorns. He doesn't ask, Mikey doesn't tell, and the rest of their family and friends are either really good at pretending unicorns don't exist or they know but don't care. The thing is, after all these years, Gerard's picked up a few tell-tale signs after meeting one of 'them'.

One late afternoon after soundcheck, Frank has the very same spaced out look in his eyes that Mikey had when he first met the unicorns. It's halfway between 'stoned' and 'incredibly happy.' Gerard doesn't want to examine too closely the reasons why Mikey thought it was time for Frank to meet his other 'friends'. The last time he allowed his mind and curiosity down that path ended in one memorable occasion involving Pete Wentz without pants and Mikey's neck covered in hickeys.

"Oh, no. Not you too!" Gerard's shoulders slump when he realizes that Frank's fucking _delighted_ or some such shit about the whole thing. 

"It would be cooler if they were dragons, you know?" Frank says, winking at Mikey. "But, at the same time, it’s fucking rad. Their horns are wicked sharp too," he adds, sucking the tip of his right index finger in between giggles. Mikey looks at his Converse, the beginnings of a blush appearing on his face.

Gerard puts a hand up. "I don't want to hear about it."

**5\. They're also badass.**

_2006_

Recording the new album is taking a lot out of everyone. At first, Gerard thinks it's so cool that they're isolated. Less distraction means a tighter focus on the creative process. The woods surrounding Paramour are perfect for long walks for those moments when a song is not fitting quite right or a lyric isn't flowing like it's supposed to.

But the longer the recording goes, the more ragged everyone's feeling.

The sun is going down while Gerard is working out the chorus for one of the slow tracks. Despite the fact that he's never been particularly athletic, he's gotten into the habit of sleeping less and walking more. It's a way of getting outside of his own head, giving all of his inspiration over to the album. Everyone is giving everyone else 'space'. He's surprised, then, when Mikey walks up seemingly from out of nowhere.

Gerard stops humming the melody and reaches out to his brother, pulling him into a hug. "I think we're close to the end, Mikes."

Mikey grunts, his steps in time with Gerard's.

Gerard soaks up the silence companionship, glad that Mikey's here. Now that the end is in sight, it feels good to reconnect with his brother.

"Isn't tonight supposed to be a full moon?" Mikey's voice echoes in the woods.

"I dunno," Gerard answers, stopping to look up to the sky, feeling surprised that he can't see any stars. It feels like they've been walking forever.

"Maybe we should turn back," Mikey says right before something within the darkness _roars_ at them. "What the fuck?" Mikey squints.

"Maybe it's a lion or whatever. I don't care! Let's go!" It's not like Gerard's heard of wild animals anywhere around here. But the most primal part of his brain, of his fucking _soul_ , urges him to get as far as they possibly can. "How the fuck did we get so far?" 

Mikey shrugs as he runs. "We're not going to make it. Fuck!"

"What?" Gerard looks at the mansion, a tiny speck of light far off in the distance. He turns around while Mikey whistles a few bars of "Dead or Alive". 

The twisted fairy tale vibe grows stronger because, just then, a gentle glow breaks through the darkness. Gerard feels like crying as he watches the shadows curl away from the galloping unicorn. Mikey saddles up with ease, reaching for Gerard like he's Prince Charming or some such shit. The thing in the gloom cries out. Gerard closes his eyes and wraps his arms around Mikey's waist as they head back to the front of the house.

The house is dark. Gerard checks his watch and can't believe it's nearly 5 in the morning. He sits down on the steps, not trusting his legs to carry him any further, and pats the pockets of his jacket. Relief floods through him when he fishes out a long forgotten cigarette. He lights up and looks back at the woods, waiting for the world to look normal again. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Mikey mumble something to the unicorn before patting its neck.

Afterwards, Mikey sits next to Gerard. "Mayhem says that it's about time you realized how awesome unicorns are."

"He says what?"

Mikey smiles. "She. She does."

It's the first time Gerard's seen Mikey smile in a month. "Yeah, well, don't expect me to be wearing unicorn pins and learning all the secret handshakes and shit," he says, bumping his shoulder against Mikey's. "Unicorns are assholes."

Mikey bumps back. Together they watch the sun rising in the horizon.

The End


End file.
